Yesterday, I sent a really vulnerable email.

Here's how the next 24 hours went.

I'm sorry for sending 2 emails in 2 days, but I'm always deeply curious when someone else sends an email like the one I sent yesterday.

Did they get what they asked for?
Was it as embarrassing as they feared?
Do they wish they hadn't sent it?

So, here's a 24-hours-later update.

First, the data:

• Open rate is 32.78%, a solid 10% lower than usual.
• 18 people (or .05% of my total list) unsubscribed.
• The click rate was 1.7%, which is double or triple my average.
• I sold 2 discounted coaching sessions, 1 paid subscription to Feminist Founders, 1 Notion planner, received in-kind gifts from 5 folks, and had 8 sweet replies of encouragement and camaraderie.
• I've raised a total of $448.32, or nearly half of the $1,000 I most urgently need for my looming tax bill.

Now, the feelings:

As soon as I hit 'send' on that email, I shut my laptop and went to bed. I was terrified to see replies.

I felt small, embarrassed, ashamed. What are people going to think of me? I know I feel pretty shitty about myself.

In the morning, it felt like a real hangover (even though I sent the email stone-cold sober). As I slowly remembered what I had done, I developed a head and stomach aches.

I put off looking at my inbox for probably an hour; I normally log in as soon as I open my eyes (an unhealthy habit that I want to change).

My immediate reaction was disappointment, about which I felt such shame.

On the one hand, I am so freaking grateful for nearly $450. Of course.

And also...

My brain keeps asking "was it worth it?"

• Was it worth sharing the ugly truth about my financial picture with nearly 4,000 people?
• Was it worth the damage to my business and reputation that ugly truth may cause?
• Was it worth my husband reading it and adding to his stress and guilt (I didn't know he was on my email list until he texted about it).
• Was it worth this really awful vulnerability hangover?
• Was it worth now feeling shitty about feeling disappointment rather than only deep gratitude and joy?

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Do I regret sending the email?

Mostly no.

I'm giving space and love to the "was it worth it" part of my brain. It feels shameful even to share it, but it's real and valid.

and...

I'm trying to give space and love to the really beautiful parts of this experience, including the money as well as the lovely words I received:

"It was brave of you to make the ask."

"I appreciate you modeling this kind of openness."

"Kudos to you and your vulnerability in sending this email."

"You are seen and you are loved."

I'm not yet sitting a place of radical acceptance for what I did. My judgmental voice is still really letting me have it, and that's why I mostly don't regret it. 🤣

Based on past experiences, I'm pretty certain my brain will come to a place of "of course it was worth it." Until then, I'm sitting in the discomfort.

If you can relate to any of this, I'd be so grateful if you hit reply and shared. Hearing from you would go a long way in helping my brain get to the "it was worth it" place sooner. ❤️

Thank you again for being here, even with all of the TMI of the last 24 hours.

PS: I thought of one more way to support me (beyond what I laid out in the original email) if you're so inclined. I'm an affiliate for both Wandering Aimfully and Teachery, which are both run by Jason and Caroline Zook.

​Wandering Aimfully is the kick-ass business community that I have been part of for 7+ years. This week is the last time they are allowing people in before the shift their business. I can't encourage you enough to consider being part of it because these people walk the talk, give so much, and are just fun. When you join, you get whatever they create in the future, too (at no more cost). I've not paid them since joining 7 years ago, and I still get soooo much from them. (Here's my affiliate link if you check it out).

​Teachery is their course-hosting platform, which I use for the things I mentioned in the last email. It's pretty darn cool and easy to use and you can have LIFETIME access for just $550 (that's less than I paid for one year of Podia to do the same damn thing). Amazeballs. But don't buy this if you join the program above because it's included in your membership (forever). (Here's my affiliate link if you want to buy).

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