How to give without getting pissed.
I had a great call today with one of my favorite clients (you know who you are ๐). She shared that she's feeling overwhelmed by all the awesome and unpaid opportunities coming her way.
It's tough to find people willing to pay for anything with a recession looming, but there's no shortage of folks asking for people to be on their podcasts, speak at their event, help them promote an offer, etc.
I felt this conversation in my bones after having just talked on Messy Liberation this week (below) about my own growing resentment about giving too much with too little in return.
After hearing that my client is having the same challenge, it occurred to me that maybe lots of other folks are, too. So, let me share with you what I said to her (and what I'm learning to practice myself).
Reciprocity prevents resentment.
Reciprocity is the practice of exchange with others for mutual benefit. It does not mean the exchange must include money nor that the exchange must be equal. It means both sides should be satisfied that they're having a need met.
In my client's case, it looks like agreeing to speak for free at the summit, but asking for a testimonial in exchange.
In my case, it looked like agreeing to drastically reduce fees for a program for a few folks if they agree to be active and generate energy in the space.
Neither example is tit-for-tat equality. It's about feeling an energetic exchange that makes the give feel so much better.
For those of you who are givers, I encourage you to start thinking about reciprocity. What can you ask for (no matter how small) to feel that you're getting and not only giving?
Making sure every give includes an ask is a great way to prevent resentment that can grow slowly over time.
(Conversely, if you make sure every ask you have includes a give, it will make asking feel so much better and increase your chances of getting a yes.)
|
|
The first 3 episodes of my new podcast, Assigned Reading, will drop everywhere on May 13th.
โ
The trailer is already live, so you can subscribe now on your favorite platform so you don't miss an episode.
โ
This is going to be so good!
|
In AI news...
Last month saw me overcome a big hurdle and begin to embrace AI.
I still have a great number of ethical reservations, primary among them being the harm AI is causing to our planet.
And yet, I finally see that taking the crotchety old man's "get off my lawn" mentality is only hurting me and my business.
The truth is, AI is here to stay whether I like it or not (and whether it kills us all or not). I'll continue discuss its ethical problems and harm, and I'm going to use it.
Everyone has to decide what's right for them, but where I've landed is I'll use AI when it can help me do something I couldn't otherwise do (or afford to pay another human to do), or when it allows me to better serve my clients and communities.
In the last month, that looked like...
โ> Using ChatGPT as an assistant to keep client notes (anonymized, of course) and help me be more organized and better prepared for upcoming sessions.
โ> Using AI editing tools in Riverside to reduce my workload from podcasting from probably 8-10 hours per episode to <1.
โ> Working with ChatGPT to completely redo 3 websites in a weekend. Work that would have taken me weeks or months. The results: beckymollenkamp.com, messyliberation.com, and feministpodcasterscollective.com.
โ> Asking ChatGPT to teach me how to use Notion so I can stay on top of the many details involved with running Feminist Podcasters Collective.
I continue to have reservations, but opening myself up to AI as another tool in my toolkit has already saved me endless hours and dollars. Adapt or die, as they say. ๐คท๐ผโโ๏ธ
I'd love to know what you think about reciprocity and/or AI, so hit reply and share your thoughts!
